A timeline for Eden Knight
Eden Knight, also known as Solaria, @s0larbody, @s0larmoder, @girlboydigital, @CYBERANGELFAERY, was a progressive trans woman from Saudi Arabia who recently took her own life. They were a kind, funny, thoughtful person. They were a friend of mine.
I've made this page to lay out a timeline of events which support the allegations toward "fixers" Bader Alomair, Michael Pocalyko, and Ellen Cole made in Eden's suicide note from 12 March 2023: link, web.archive.org
Section 1: While living in Georgia
~2018-2019: Eden began attending George Mason University as an international student from Saudi Arabia: (NOTE: Contains Eden’s deadname) link, archive.is
2022 February 13: Eden switched to she/her pronouns from they/them pronouns
2022 late March: Eden switched to "Solaria" username from prior "Solaris": link, web.archive.org
2022 Summer: Suicide note: "Sometime in the summer, I was contacted by Michael Pocalyko (Cybersecurity guy) through an IRL friend who claimed he was a “fixer” and wanted to “fix” the issue that was between me and my parents. I thought this was impossible, I’m transgender and they are strict conservative Muslims, but I decided I would give it a shot because it can’t hurt right lmao?"
2022 August 12: In DM's, Eden wrote that "a famous guy", Michael Pocalyko "called me to help with my asylum process". DM's with Helen Holland @MannyAndBo, phone video confirmation
2022 Aug 27: Eden posted a selfie that went viral, captioned "what the person at the counter sees on my id vs me now lmao". Underneath, they posted: "if you wanna help me thru my asylum process to get a lawyer so I can change my id my payment info is [details] Ty 🥺": link, web.archive.org
The post above also went viral in Arabic and Saudi Twitter. (See here for examples.) Eden was worried that it might get them in trouble with Saudi authorities. [CN]
2022 September: Suicide note: "Over the next couple of months, I had called Michael Pocalyko and his associate Ellen, these calls seemed innocuous and honestly pretty helpful. It was mainly questions about my safety and whether I had my needs met at the place I was staying at. Towards the end of my stay at my friends place, I had witnessed a traumatic event and was already in a bad place mentally, Michael took note of this and decided to push me to leave Georgia and move back to Virginia."
Section 2: After moving to Virginia
2022 October: Suicide note: "Michael and Ellen, along with a Saudi lawyer named Bader met me at the train station. I was taken to a hotel and allowed to experience DC, I genuinely was optimistic and believed this could work. God I wish I wasn’t so fucking stupid."
For some background on Bader Alomair, see this 2021 Washington Post article: "Saudi Embassy has helped its citizens facing criminal charges flee the United States": link, archive.is
When Saudis have found themselves in trouble with U.S. law enforcement, Bader Alomair has been one of the first people to hear about it. As a lawyer in the Saudi Embassy in Washington at the time Moore was killed, Alomair coordinated legal assistance for Saudi citizens in at least seven states, including North Carolina and Virginia, according to several people who have worked with him. Alomair did not respond to emails, text messages and phone calls seeking comment for this story, and embassy spokespersons did not respond to multiple requests for an interview with him. [....]
But Alomair is the working-level point man in the Washington embassy. “He is chiefly responsible for finding legal representation for Saudi students who need criminal representation” in the states he oversees, one person who has worked with Alomair said. Alomair was involved in trying to find legal representation for Alsuhaymi and Hariri after they were initially questioned by police, said a second person who has worked with him. There is no indication the men were ever represented by a lawyer. Alomair has also been in charge of procuring airline travel, chauffeured ground transportation and hotel accommodations for Saudis in the United States, according to an embassy document shared with The Post. In the case of Hussam Aleidi, the Radford University student who is charged with violating his probation, Alomair instructed a driver working for the embassy to take him to Dulles Airport, this person said. In assisting Saudis in the United States, including with routine legal matters, Alomair has relied on a group of American criminal defense lawyers who specialize in drunken-driving and drug possession cases and immigration law. One of them is Edward Moawad, an immigration lawyer who has kept offices in Chevy Chase, Md., and McLean, Va., where Alomair frequently visited, said several of Moawad’s former co-workers, who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution by their former boss and the Saudi government.
Early 2022 Nov: Suicide note: "At this point, the only person in that group that I was in contact with was Bader, the Saudi lawyer. Bader, throughout this entire time, in his weird way, tried to get me to detransition. First, he pampered me. He got me an apartment temporarily, he took me out to eat, he took me to therapists, but over time, the more conversations I had with him in person, the more I realized what he was trying to do. He tried to get me to be “normal.” Gave me examples of feminine men and said that they are transgender but they are hiding it, that it’s better to hide it. Told me stories personally about people he knew that successfully hid it. Repeated constantly that I can just hold 2 lives, the female me and the male me. Constantly said I looked like a man, always talked down on my appearance. Bought me masculine clothing and tried to throw away ALL of my feminine clothing. At every step of the way, he tried to detransition me. I had a breakdown over this and bombarded Michael Pocalyko and Ellen with texts about what was happening, they did not respond. I did not realize fast enough what was happening because I’m fucking stupid."
2022 Nov 04: Eden wrote that her "lawyer" (presumably Bader Alomair, as Michael Pocalyko is not a lawyer and Ellen Cole is not "he") doubted her gender dysphoria and was pushing her to detransition.
I asked him "is the doctor you['re] taking me to biased toward my gender issue" and he does not belive lawyers or doctors can be biased in that way. [....]
[Y]ou're out here saying "no it's mostly depression[,] see this doctor[,] she's not biased I swear" [....]
He knows I left my family to transition and told me to lie to them and say it was grade issues, now he unironically believes my depression and dysphoria stems from grade issues. I had striaght A's lol. He's also seen my transcript. [....]
he like constantly says I look like a man and a teenager that's confused[,] which is fine cuz I have piercings and dyed hair[,] but I'm juts having fun with those things[,] they don't make me a woman[.] nobody misgenders me so purposefully like he does[.]
I actually hear him slip sometimes and refer to me as she or her and he fixes himself mid sentence like he's making a point lol. [....]
I called up a clinic in DC and convinced them to include me in the [payment] option where I make no money and have no insurance and everything would be free. I said he can sit down with me and the doctor and watch everything [a]nd see if there's any bias or lying and judge for himself[.]
he's like iffy about that because he knows he would be made a fool lol
he just wants me to see a doctor for depression, that's it
fuck I wish I was born American[.] literally wish that before I was born a woman
2022 November 15: Eden attends the clinic mentioned above and gets (no surprise) a diagnosis of gender dysphoria:
I was just confirmed to receiv[e] a diagnosis of gender dysphoria [....]
getting a gender dysphoria diagnosis is crazy
my lawyer [who is he/him] wanted an official report of my mental diagnosis and she [my doctor] actually did not want to put it in because she [my doctor] thought I would be hurt in the long run if this existed on my [medical] record
I literally said "no fuck that if I have it and you recognize it put that shit in"
literally a slam dunk on my lawyer who thinks this is just a "choice" for me
2022 Late November: Suicide note: "At a certain point, I realized I was entirely dependent on Bader for food and shelter, and that if I ran away, he could easily find my location, and since I was illegal, I would have just been deported to Saudi. I subconsciously gave up, I was too tired. I did everything he asked, I cut my hair, I stopped taking estrogen, I changed my wardrobe, I met my dad. And then I had another breakdown. My mom kept telling me to repent or I was going to hell, and I did, I repented. I believed I was going to hell so much that I read the entire Quran front to back in a couple of days, crying the entire fucking time about what a disgusting thing I am, and I didn’t sleep. I repented, and I was broken. Bader then booked a flight back to Saudi, and I came back."
2022 November 23-26: Eden who was previously an atheist/Satanist, posted about her newfound faith in Islam, about reading the Qur'an, and about how being trans is "not haram". These posts are mostly lost to time, but line up with the timeline mentioned in Eden's suicide note.
From Eden's DM's with ChadNotChud, a friend:
2022 November 23:
Eden: I tried to convert[.] Every single person denied me[.]
2022 November 24:
Chad: Sorry I'm responding so inconsistently, thanksgiving stuff. Why were you trying to convert?
Eden: Idk I'm lost lol[.] The poetry in this book [the Qur'an] is not rivaled[.] Read it[.] I promise you[.] It's not normal[.] I fought it my entire life lold[.] I will still be a vegan but I will be a Muslim, and I have read the philosophy being trans is not haram and acting upon my souls gender is not haram[.] Like the recitations and the singing[.] There's nothing like it in this world[.] Do you wanna hear my recitation soon lol[.] It's pretty beautiful[.]
Chad: Sure!
Eden: Ok I will read a great surah for you lol
From my Discord DM's (neither post is archived; they were preserved in my Discord cache):
2022 November 25: I am proudly and a strong Muslim and I regret the hurt I’ve given to others and the bullying and backbiting and the disgust and vile words I’ve repeated and the way I’ve hurt and driven so many away
2022 November 26: this Twitter community will respect Jewish people of being strong to their faith and Christian’s but as soon as a Muslim does they’re insane. Majnoon as we say it. Why?
2022 December 11: Eden writes to a friend, Roxie, that "tomorrow [2022 December 12] im gonna go to saudi and then apply for immigratio[n.] so idk[.] life expectancy rn is in months rather than years":
Section 3: After returning to Saudi Arabia (2022 Dec-2023 March)
2022 December: Suicide note: "The first month was fine, okay even. I was on edge the entire time, but I was treated like I was going to run at any second by my family"
2023 January 08: Eden switches online name from "Solaria" to "Eden Knight":
2023 January: Suicide note: "then came the second month. At this point, I was subjected to daily searches of my belongings, my mom searched all of my electronics whenever she got the chance. I was berated for being a freak when my mom found my private photos, my dad called me a failure and an abomination. I was told that Michael, Ellen, and Bader were actually all specifically hired to get me back and that there was no escape from my situation. I was destroyed, but I wanted to keep going."
2023 January 18: Eden clearly expresses that they are still trans, against the wishes of their mother: link, archive.is
my mom's brain seems. to have picked up i shave my entire body when im dysphoric so the solution of course is to shoehorn me being a male into every sentence because this will solve it
like its so obvious lol. i shaved today. she looked at me for 2-3 seconds, then her brain loaded up remindSonHesMale.exe
cant wait till i get my dick cut off and put it in a present box to gift to her
we do a little Trolling
2023 February 06: Very long transcript DM's with a friend, Roxie, covering Eden's time in Saudi Arabia. In short: Eden's family took Eden's passport away, Eden's family took Eden's HRT away (as stated in Eden's note), Eden's family started Eden on trans/gay conversion therapy, and Eden said that their parents thought they were "the most disgusting being alive lol":
Roxie: hey how is everything eden? this is a rhetorical question cuz i scrolled your twitter and have an idea, i'm mostly just giving you the opportunity to vent or anything
Eden: Im a bit tired but I really appreciate it rox[.] Things got worse obv and my parents forced me to go to conversion therapy basically and they found my HRT twice 💀[.] Other than that im doing well in my job and I’m trying to draw to distract myself until it gets better[.]
Eden: The conversion therapy isn’t like violent or anything it’s just like the insane loneliness[.] I basically don’t talk to anyone even at work cuz of the nature of my job and only ppl I talk to are my parents both of whom think I’m literally the most disgusting being alive lol[.] basically it though
Eden: but I am completely sober and have been for almost 4 months now, but im regressing into not eating which isn’t the worst problem to have rn[.]
Roxie: do you have an exit strategy atm or are you just waiting and seeing?
Eden: I just have to wait and see because I don’t have access to my passport
Roxie: what happened to it
Eden: My parents stole it off of me along with my money I was saving up[.] While I was at work[.] And threw out all my HRT etc
Roxie: wtf[.] can you order a replacement and hide it well
Eden: That’s what I’m trying to figure out rn[.] There’s a chance by ordering it it’ll send a text notif to my dad cuz of the system they have in place fir issuing passports is like connected with the head of the family it’s really weird[.] They have an app basically called absher[.] This app is used to take care of all things related to government paperwork ids etc etc[.] When you interact with absher it sends notifs and one of the fears I have is that if I order my passport it’ll send my dad a notif
Roxie: is it even legal for them to confiscate your passport
Eden: Yes lol[.] Well right now yes[.] I would have to do something which is sort of like a family divorce to get it back[.] But if I do this this opens me up to lawsuits against me by my family[.] One of the potential lawsuits is literally shit like running away[.] My parents have already threatened to jail me for being trans a couple of times[.] So right now I just have to like hide it all, for a really really long time[.] And then pray for another chance idk
Roxie: how many years ago did you get that passport
Eden: I’m actually not sure but iirc it should expire soon, which was one of my other ideas lol[.] I have to physically get my passport myself[.] So whenever they decide I need to do that I’m fucking dipping[.] It’s mostly just waiting and hiding game
Roxie: what's the conversion therapy like? you said it was just lonely
Eden: Well today was like the first visit so it’s mostly asking me questions and telling me how it’s gonna go
Eden: She basically told me it will only work if I want it to work, didn’t ask whether I did lol. Then she just asked me questions about my life, my masturbation habits, what kind of porn I watched lol. Asked whether I was weak when I was a kid and was bullied, asked about whether I was sexually assaulted, what kind of food I eat[.] And my mom + dad were in the room the whole time it was really weird
Eden: My parents had mentioned to her I was bisexual[.] And she said that’s a good sign (for the therapy efficacy) lmao[.]
Eden: like they genuinely believe a straight trans woman cannot be converted but a bisexual trans woman can for some reason
Roxie: how bizarre[.] hey you know what you should do[.] write down everything you can about it somewhere safe, like in a google doc or smth
Eden: Mhm
Roxie: i'm sure that would make for a really interesting account
Eden: I’ve been recording my mom screaming/threatening me and stuff[.] And I’m gonna start recording my sessions entirely
Roxie: i'm really sorry about everything eden, you're very strong, you'll get through it
2023 March: Suicide note: "After the first time they found my HRT, it was traumatizing, but I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to live if I couldn’t transition. Then the second time came. After that, I took a month break off of HRT, and got back on it. They have found my HRT again, and I am done fighting."
2023 March 12 at 13:27 UTC: "FUCK DUDE[,] MY PARENTS FOUND MY HRT AGAIN[.] oh my fucking god I'm panicking[,] I'm actually gonna Kms[.]"
Section 4: After death
2023 March 12 at 14:49 UTC: Eden's Twitter posted suicide note: link, web.archive.org
2023 March 13: Eden’s family's Twitter account announced her passing.
Post from @shathri_family on Eden's mourning / funeral: (NOTE: Contains Eden’s deadname) link, web.archive.org
Arabic text (redacted):
انتقل إلى رحمة الله تعالى الشاب [Eden Knight.]
و ستقام الصلاة عليه بإذن الله تعالى اليوم الاثنين بعد صلاة العصر في جامع الجوهرة البابطين و سيكون الدفن في مقبرة الشمال[.] والعزاء للرجال حي حطين من بعد صلاة العصر الى أذان العشاء[.] وللنساء في المسجد فقط[.]
English machine translation from Google Translate:
Go to the mercy of God Almighty young man [Eden Knight.]
Prayers will be held for him, God willing, today, Monday, after the Asr prayer, in Al-Jawhara Al-Babtain Mosque, and the burial will be in the North Cemetery[.] Condolences for the men are in Hittin neighborhood, from after the Asr prayer until the Isha call[.] Women in the mosque only[.]
2023 March 13: Eden's uncle's Twitter account mentioned her passing.
Post from @khaledalshathry on Eden's passing: (NOTE: Contains Eden’s deadname) link, web.archive.org
Arabic text (redacted): "فجعت الامس بوفاة ابن اخي “[Eden Knight]“ اؤمن بقضاء الله وقدره “ ولكن ينتابني حزن شديد على فقده “ عزائي لجميع اسرتنا في فقد شاب من خيرة شبابنا “ انا لله وانا اليه راجعون “"
English machine translation from Google Translate: "Yesterday I was saddened by the death of my nephew “[Eden Knight]” I believe in God’s will and destiny “but I am deeply saddened by his loss” My condolences to all our family for the loss of one of our best young men “We belong to God and to Him we shall return”"
2023 March 13: Eden's family's Instagram posted the same message as on Twitter. The post was deleted before it could be archived, but the image was saved elsewhere: link, web.archive.org
2023 March 14-15: English news coverage (a mixture of mainstream and quick-turnaround small news sites):
Io Dodds of The Independent publishes "Saudi Arabian trans woman feared dead after posting suicide note saying family had forced her to detransition": link, web.archive.org
Tricia Crimins of The Daily Dot publishes "Eden Knight, Trans Twitter presence, says she was forced to detransition in viral suicide note": link, web.archive.org
James Greig of Dazed publishes "A young trans woman has committed suicide after a forced detransition": link, web.archive.org
Henry Giardina of Into publishes "Forced Detransition Drove a Young Trans Woman to Suicide": link, web.archive.org
SDL this is amazing work, thank you
OMG, what a loss to us trans women 🏳️⚧️!